Strawberry Shortcake and I Hate You – Urban Zakapa

It’s the M day!

 

Thinking + reflecting hat alert *a.k.a longer post*!
 
Today I have a very special song and I have two major reasons (kinda) of why I picked this song *aside from the fact that I like the song as well*

 

So for some weird reasons *which I don’t know what and why* my friends like to ask me for relationships what-do-you-think a.k.a advice/opinion. And for the x times in just a couple of months, those people who confided their relationships stories with me would react and say  that I have just stabbed them “with the painful truth” (newest comment I received last week), often “very straightforward”, or that I gave them good insights and/or points that are “good and blunt” and “cold and rational”. I did all this without me knowing that I did all of the above,  and with no slightest intention to hurt any of them *I care about my friends like A LOT*. No, I’m not usually a very rational nor cold type either.

 

I guess those “cold” and “sharp” comments that I made, derived from my own past experience(s) which taught me that the smallest fake/unrealistic hope would do nothing but hurt you. In the past, I would stick with friends who gave me the answers/comments that I would like to hear the most*instead of what I need – ah humans*. Those with sweet words, wrapped in sparkly maybe-it-would-work, that would make me be in cloud nine and very much eager to chase what often turned out to be a just empty hope. At the end of the day, I would have nothing but gratitude towards my friends (they are turned out to be my closest and best friends) who often slapped me with the ouch-y reality. But they never fail to add those slaps with a breath of *ehem* life relieving air into the-hopeless-in-no-that’s-not-love and the-oh-so -down-and-hurting me. So I guess I am unconsciously paying it forward. Why waste your energy if you know something is not gonna work, instead of focusing on what will work. Right? It’s a piece of cake, right?

 
Well, “a piece of cake” means “easy” right? Let’s break it down now. I have been wanting to learn how to make Japanese strawberry shortcake (because strawberry!). Thanks to *chef* Eugene, we finally got to make our very own cake without blowing up the kitchen. And this idea just came to me. Making the cake was easy. It was simple. But it took a lot of work, time, and patience. It required a long process, sometimes a help or two here and there. You would have to have the right ingredients *like my bright idea of adding lemon zest to the strawberry shortcake recipe was trashed by everyone right away*, right timing, right way to whisk, whip, stir, etc.

 

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The end result will be sweet only if you try your best!

 

And relationships are often like that. It’s like a piece of cake. It is both easy and hard, simple and complicated. Just like to make a good cake, you would have to be sincerely invested in the process. You would have to know what would work or not. What to be included or not to add. I would see it a piece of cake. But for you, if it’s your own cake that you are making, you would have to follow that process.
For all my “victims”. If could be like chef Eugene for you, then I would not be sorry for being cold and sharp. Then again you guys made your own decision to ask me for my opinion :p .

 

Now for all of you who have ? or ! or , in your relationships story. Just one thing: never stay in a relationship or cling on to a false hope where you would have to beg for the other person’s love/attention/care/whatever it is that you are expecting. Well, unless getting hurt is what you want.

 

This song. Oh this song. I hope it will wake you up, console you, give you a free pass to be emo. Even better, I hope it will give you the courage to move on/away from the wrong person at the wrong timing with all the wrong reasons, or to stand up for the well being of your heart *or feelings*.

 

 

 

 

Lyrics + Translation

 

니가 싫어 – 어반 자카파

I Hate you – Urban Zakapa

 

나는 너에게 사랑을 구걸하지 않았어  / I did not beg for your love from you

진심을 원했어 / I wanted sincerity (true heart)

마지막으로 널 봤던 날도  / Even on for the last time, on the day I saw you

널 원하지 않았어 / I did not want you

진심을 원했어 / I wanted your sincerity

 

상처받은 내 마음과 / my scarred heart

더럽혀진 그때 추억 / and the tainted memory of that time

날 바라보던 니 표정 / your expression as you were looking at me

다 너무 싫어 / I hate it all

난 니가 싫어 / I hate you

 

불안했던 우리 모습 / us, who were restless (unsteady)

지켜내려던 내 모습 / me, who were trying to protect it

다 너무 후회가 돼 / I came to regret is all

잘 몰랐던 나 / I did know it better

난 니가 싫어 / I hate you

 

나는 너에게 사랑을 구걸하지 않았어  / I did not beg for your love from you

진심을 원했어 / I wanted sincerity (true heart)

마지막으로 널 봤던 날도  / Even on for the last time, on the day I saw you

널 원하지 않았어 / I did not want you

진심을 원했어 / I wanted your sincerity

 

상처받은 내 마음과 / my scarred heart

더럽혀진 그때 추억 / and the tainted memory of that time

날 바라보던 니 표정 / your expression as you were looking at me

다 너무 싫어 / I hate it all

난 니가 싫어 / I hate you

 

불안했던 우리 모습 / us, who were restless (unsteady)

지켜내려던 내 모습 / me, who were trying to protect it

다 너무 후회가 돼 / I came to regret is all

 

굳게 닫힌 나의 맘과 / my firmly shut heart

돌이킬 수 없는 우리 / and our relationship that has no turning back

서로를 아프게 했던/ the times when we hurt each other

그 때가 싫어 / I hate those times

난 내가 싫어 / I hate you

 

시간이 더 흐른다면 / if time goes by a little bit more

서로를 이해할 수 있을까 / will we be able to understand each other

하지만 그때도 우린 / but even then

만나지 말자 / let’s not meet

이런 내가 싫어 / I hate myself for being like this

 

나는 너에게 늘 진심이었고 / I have had always been sincere towards you

너도 그때만큼은 그랬을 거라 믿어 / I would like to believe that you did so too at least during those times

 

Just remember that It takes two to tango.!

 

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Credit: Fluxus Music/Urban Zakapa

 

With love and care for all of you,

 

Med

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